Of late, I’ve been meeting many people dealing with the aftermaths of a relationship that has ended. Whether you’re 20, 30, 40 or 50, the pain is the same, though the complexity may vary especially if you’ve given it the legal status. Here’s a 3 part series on how to fix that broken heart…
Your heart gets a 1000 volt jolt – the one who professed to be with you forever suddenly walks out of your life, leaving you squashed, smashed, burning, moping – and it feels like the end of the world. Many of us suffer heartbreak at least once in life – whether we get dumped by a loved one or when we have to make the inevitable choice of walking out. It feels like endless agony! But one has to live through it and learn to live and love… Once again!
Bette Midler, the American singer and song writer, wrote beautiful lyrics in her album `Some People’s Lives’ that topped the Billboard and achieved Platinum status in the 90s. A couple of decades have passed but the words in the song ‘ Since You Stayed Here’ still resonate with people who go through a break up, even today.
“You’ll never recognise the room.
The pictures all have different frames now.
And all the chairs are rearranged now.
Somehow, I have thrown out every souvenir.
Yes, there have been changes made
Since you stayed here.”
But mankind has eternally survived on hope – for a better day, a day when everything will seem alright, when you will feel ready to let go. To quote John Keats from his poem `To Hope’ –
“Should disappointment, parent of despair,
Strive for her son to seize my careless heart.
When, like a cloud, he sits upon the air,
Preparing on his spell bound prey to dart.
Chase him away, sweet hope, with visage bright,
And fright him, as the morning frightens night.”
Easier said than done, did you say? I agree. Moreso, if you’ve been dumped for somebody else. When Cliff Richards sang – “Someone else is in your arms tonight while I’m all alone and blue. Someone else will kiss you and hold you tight, just the way I used to do. I used to be your love and now I’m your used-to be. Outsider. That’s me.” – It became the anthem of all those who suffered rejection.
Songs have been written, great masterpieces painted, operas composed, ballets performed, novels written – all inspired by the agony suffered by a broken heart. Many have tried to make sense of the complexities of love – especially why a relationship has to end. Is there anything more compelling, more painful in life than an aching heart? But then, the show must go on and we have to move on. While some take ages to lick their wounds until they heal, some get over it like a song, and some take the path of the rebound. Shrinks say there are no rights or wrongs in the path of healing. Different strokes for different folks. TO BE CONTINUED…