There was a time in life when I would scoff at the idea of `writer’s block.’ I screamed till I went hoarse, whether anybody heard it or not, that it was a figment of writers’ imagination – the so called `block.’ It was lack of discipline, I said. I also said, it was a great excuse to escape reality which was, like I said, lack of discipline. I will `never’ experience it in this lifetime, I swore. And then it happened. Like most things I said would `never’ happen to me and they all did, `writer’s block’ hit me too. It’s been 7 years since I wrote my first book `Butterflies and Barbed Wires’ and five years since my 2nd book `Hyderabad Hazir hai’ . We are at the end of 2013, I have completed 3/4ths of a psychological thriller and almost done with an authorized biography but am sitting stuck at one point which seems like the hour that precedes the dawn on an insomniac night. Somebody help me! Or is that somebody me?
After living close to half a decade on this planet, I am actually understanding how self image and perceptions differ NOW! Just this morning, I realised that there is a huge disparity between who I think I am and how others (even close friends) see me! It kinda jolts you out of your skin, when you become aware of the fact that those who you think are close to you, don’t really get what you say! Wait till you hear this! I thought I had cracked a funny one while my friend, a long lasting one at that, thought I was being sarcastic. But she doesn’t tell me it hurt her. She just turns cold and distant. After prodding and probing she says that my comments are always loaded! Loaded! Laced! Me! Never thought I could ever say a thing hurtful or snide! But then, that’s life! What we think we are and what we are perceived may not be remotely connected! And yes, the number of years we spend with people has nothing to do with how well you’re understood. Another lesson learnt. Life’s amazing. It keeps giving us a million chances to become aware of ourselves!